Human sexuality tends to provide us with enough complexity on its own, but the occasional glance at the rest of the animal kingdom helps put everything in perspective.

Yep, according to a new study, the beetles with the “longest and spiniest genitalia” experience the most success in passing on their genes. National Geographic even provides a photo gallery of “bizarre beetle genitalia” if your boss isn’t watching over your shoulder. Scientists believe these spines help to anchor the male in place for the duration of the coupling, internally injuring the female in the process.

Don’t drag all your anthropomorphic baggage into this, though. I think doomed mad scientist Seth Brundle put it best in “The Fly.” “Have you ever heard of insect politics?” he asks. “Neither have I. Insects don’t have politics. They’re very brutal. No compassion, no compromise.”