When I was a young trick-or-treater, you could’ve earned my affection forever by giving me a full-size candy bar, rather than the misnamed “fun size.” However, if a neighbor did choose to give out the fun-size serving, then I’d give them a pass if they doled out more than one piece per trick-or-treater. What I’m saying, of course, is that I wanted as much candy as possible when I was a kid, and I judged my neighbors if they were stingy or tried to give me something healthy.

Now, as an adult, I do see the rationale for not overloading a small child with candy. Obesity rates are climbing and dental work is expensive. Still, Halloween is a day for fun, not a day for diet tips. So to assuage my guilt about feeding young children sugar, I’m also going to feed them fun facts about the candy they are receiving. You can do this as well! Educating children is just as good as giving them an apple. And an apple could have a razor blade inside, whereas these fun facts will just make a kid razor-sharp.