Like most everyone, there are things in life that make me nervous; frighten me even. But there are a rare couple of things that in my case are severe phobias. One of them? Deep water; a condition frequently referred to as bathophobia. See when I was a kid, around six or seven, I took diving lessons. And at one of those lessons, I — apparently, a pretty terrible diver — hit my head on the diving board when it was my turn to go, got knocked out, and regained consciousness after I’d sunk almost to the bottom of the deep end of the pool. I had to swivel sticks up like a crazy pants to get air in time to not drown. (Um, Diving Instructors? Other Lifeguards? Where were you guys? I still wonder…) Anyway, after that, water past a certain — and very shallow — depth has provoked nothing less than pure terror in me. So during my vacation last week to Grand Cayman in the Caribbean, my fierce wish to spend an hour swimming with dolphins presented something of a conundrum. This is how I pulled it off:

Pictured: Terror, downgraded by immense joy.

I L-O-V-E dolphins. Problem though, is that they apparently like deep water to swim in. (Weirdoes, yes?! Sadly, for Reality Jess, no. It’s sort of their bit…) But one thing I will never, ever, do in this lifetime is let fear — however incredibly intense and paralyzing — stop me from experiencing something I believe in my heart to be so completely awesome. Ergo: I need ways to cope. Here are the steps I took.

First off: The Consultation. I asked my fiancé his opinion: Should I enquire as to the actual depth of the murky dolphin habitat, or let lie, literally, that unknown yet still very terror-inducing depth below me? His, in retrospect, excellent advice was: Don’t ask. Knowing the depth was eight feet (patently unlikely) would have already been extremely tough. Knowing it was, say, 30 feet?, nigh on impossible to tolerate. Point being — don’t ask for the specifics in situations you know will trigger anxiety. Let your mind assume an easier position on matters.

Second point: The Natives. Now this won’t apply to every situation, of course, but it helped me tremendously during this experience — and may apply tangentially to others. I not only love dolphins, I trust them. Trust is important to our species, as well as with most others. And dolphins are some smarty pants mammals! I absolutely had to trust them, otherwise, there was no way I could have pulled this off.

Every time I swam out for them to do a trick with me (dorsal tow, foot swan lift and group dance-off) I absolutely — and quietly verbally — forced/convinced myself to trust them. As silly as that might sound, it made sense enough at the time. Dolphins — such powerfully sentient creatures — certainly didn’t want me as a corpsicle degrading in the depths of their habitat, their home, so I had to draw on that and have faith in them to scoop me out if anything went wrong. I can swim all right, although I’m certainly not a strong swimmer, but if anyone is, it’s a dang dolphin!

So I made up a mantra on the spot. I’m not going to share it in its entirety. But phrases like “Dolphin Power!” and “The Dolphins won’t let you die!!”may have been uttered, repeatedly, while I swam and frantically treaded water while getting ready and staying in position.

Anyway, lesson is: This won’t apply to every fear or every person. But I think the general how-to works. Take it; own it; push past it. If the willpower and desire are strong enough, no matter how terrific the fear is, it doesn’t stand a chance. Use whatever resources you can muster, and it will — and if you realize it must be — it will be enough.