Ooooo, would that I had €800 to €1,200. That is the base price for the head of Saint Vitalis of Assisi, the patron saint of genital and bladder disorders, which is to go on sale from a family’s private collection in County Meath, Ireland. The head, encased in glass and metal that appears to have been made just for it, is not evidence of the incorruptible nature of saints, as it’s mainly a skull adorned with a wreath. What’s more, it doesn’t even positively belong to the Italian-born saint, who died in 1370. Christian relics — pieces of the remains of saints, their belongings and clothing and other items that form the pantheon of Christian belief, like wood from the cross where Jesus Christ was crucified — have been routinely forged and faked for literally millenia, so there is no guarantee that it is, in fact, St. Vitalis’ head, despite what a plaque affixed beneath the skull says.

A BBC article mentions the encased skull was found in an outhouse at the family’s estate recently. Surely a saint deserves far better treatment than that, although Vitalis was a convert from fast living to piety during his lifetime. He eventually eschewed debauchery for the life of a hermit, one without material possessions save for enough ragged clothing to keep him in complicity with the shame from original sin and a basket with which he used to fetch water. After his death, the pious man was beatified following the performance of posthumous miracles, particularly healing those with bladder and genital diseases, hence his patronship.

If you so happen to have the inclination to purchase the alleged head of Saint Vitalis of Assisi, you may make your bid at Annesbrook House in Duleek, County Meath at 3:00 p.m. British Standard Time, says the BBC. Here’s a link to the article so you may view your potential purchase beforehand.