There is no denying that bodies do have a language. If someone comes up and punches you in the face, he has used his body to convey a message. It’s the more subtle stuff that people debate about. If a man stands facing you with his arms crossed while talking to you, does it really mean anything? Some people subscribe to the idea of body language. Some believe it is meaningless.

There is a funny way to think about body language – it could be it becomes more real because so many people study it. If half of the population has studied body language, and they have all been exposed to the crossed-arms idea, then crossed arms really do have meaning to them.

If you would like to learn the current ideas about body language – so you can avoid negative postures and use positive postures more – this online book on body language will get you started:

The Book of Body Language

If you are skeptical, just pick a chapter and try it. For example, try Chapter 18.

Here are two examples of body language being used in the real world (of dating):

In the following video, Alex Pentland (from the MIT Media Lab) talks about different signaling mechanisms people use:

“Honest Signals: How They Shape Our World”
How can you know when someone is bluffing? Paying attention? Genuinely interested? The answer, writes Sandy Pentland in Honest Signals, is that subtle patterns in how we interact with other people reveal our attitudes toward them. These unconscious social signals are not just a back channel or a complement to our conscious language; they form a separate communication network. Biologically based “honest signaling,” evolved from ancient primate signaling mechanisms, offers an unmatched window into our intentions, goals, and values. If we understand this ancient channel of communication, Pentland claims, we can accurately predict the outcomes of situations ranging from job interviews to first dates.

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