Hey Santa, did that adorable little boy wash his hands before offering you that cookie? (iStockphoto.com/asiseeit)

I still haven’t gotten my hands on an H1N1 vaccine yet. And it looks a bunch of jolly men in red suits just stepped in line before me, too. According to Santa-America, a U.S. nonprofit organization that sends Santa across the United States to visit families dealing with various physical and emotional issues, the bearded giver of gifts wants protection from swine flu. I can’t blame him. Kids, including my own, are endearing dynamos of love — and pathogens. And for many folks who celebrate Christmas, ‘tis the season for visiting Santa and generally spreading your germs (and good cheer) all around.

Just like caregivers or health care workers, Santa will come into contact with a lot of kids over the next few weeks. And he needs to be healthy in order to listen to all those earnest, whispered demands for Elmo and Thomas the Train and whatever other toy crazed parents will be fighting for on Black Friday and the ensuing weeks. So Santa-America is asking Congress to give priority to Santa for receiving the H1N1 vaccine, according to the related Associated Press story.

Santa may also be a good candidate for the vaccine because, as we all know, he isn’t exactly the skinniest, and H1N1 has been shown to cause severe complications in extremely obese patients, according to an MMWR Dispatch from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Aside from the H1N1 vaccine, don’t be surprised if you see Santa liberally dousing himself with hand sanitizer after he visits with your child or slugging down vitamins. He may also be losing the gloves this year to take advantage of the aforementioned hand sanitizer and visiting the dry cleaners more than usual. And as Robert notes, just how sanitary is that fake beard anyway?

And since I’ve already been a Debbie Downer, I may as well add that you may want to think twice before you send your child’s letter to the North Pole. The U.S. Postal Service seems to be canceling its program this year, according to the Associated Press. Some other organizations may be interested in picking it up though. No word on whether Santa and his elves are open to e-mails or texts.

Read more merry content at HowStuffWorks.com:
How Santa Claus Works
How Santa’s Sleigh Works
How Swine Flu Works
How do you know if you have swine flu or seasonal flu?