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Edward Cullen: Not a Good Boyfriend
November 16, 2009
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Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) looks on (jealously) as Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) talks to Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) in "The Twilight Saga: New Moon." (Kimberly French/© 2009 Summit Entertainment, LLC. All rights reserved.)
I’m probably not the best person to be giving advice on how to find a good boyfriend. I’m much better at spotting a bad boyfriend once somebody’s gotten hold of one. When it comes to heartthrobs who make tween girls swoon, Edward Cullen of “Twilight” fame is at the very top of my list of bad boyfriends … and his heart doesn’t even throb.
Whether a boyfriend is good or bad is a subjective call — it all depends on what his partner is looking for in a relationship. But a big strike against Edward, as Jonathan Strickland of TechStuff pointed out to me last week, is that he’s dead. He’s also about 100 years older than Bella is. But being an older vampire is part of his appeal, which is why the No. 1 reason why I think Edward Cullen is a bad boyfriend is that he shows warning signs of being an abuser.
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has a list of warning signs that one’s partner is an abuser. And Edward fits enough of them that I wouldn’t want my kid (if I had one) to date him. Here are Edward’s warning signs, quoted from the HHS list (and full of spoilers). He:
- Monitors what you’re doing all the time: Edward reads minds, but he can’t read Bella’s. That doesn’t stop him from invading her privacy, though. He still keeps tabs on her by listening in on her friends and family. And if she goes to visit the Quileute werewolves, whose minds he also can’t read, he’s prone to waiting right on the edge of their turf until she returns.
- Prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family, or going to work or school: More than once, Edward tries to put Bella on house arrest, and he forbids her from seeing Jacob (and the rest of the Quileute pack).
- Destroys your property or things you care about: Edward disables Bella’s car to get her to do what he wants, and when he leaves her in “New Moon,” he hides all her mementos of him. He doesn’t destroy them, but Bella thinks they’re gone.
- Blames you for his or her violent outbursts: He’s on the edge with this one. While Edward isn’t physically violent with Bella — at least not intentionally — he does keep warning her that he’s a threat to her, largely because of the smell of her blood. It’s not Edward’s fault for being a vampire. It’s Bella’s for smelling so good.
Some of Edward’s creepier behaviors don’t make the HHS list, like sneaking into her room uninvited to watch her sleep or, just after meeting her, plotting how to kill a classroom full of people fast enough to save her for last. That way, she’ll still be warm.
And I’m sure there’s more. What does Edward do that creeps you out?
Read up on the “New Moon” love triangle:
How Vampires Work
How Werewolves Work
How Love Works
Comments
26 Responses to “Edward Cullen: Not a Good Boyfriend”
pigri says: I’m voting for the creepiest bit being that convinces her to marry him, before she’s even out of high school good. And despite all his vampire self-loathing, he takes her life and makes her a vampire. What’s that about? OH, being a vamp is so horrrrrible and I hate myself, but chomp, you be one too!!!
sheila says: Edward isn’t the only offender…it’s funny to think about now, but most of the fictional guys who made me weak in the knees as a tween now seem vaguely creepy. I know it turned out for the best in the movie, but don’t stand under my window with a boombox playing our song. I broke up with you! That’s creepy!!
Tracy V. Wilson says: Pigri: Seriously. There are all kinds of other things he did that set off my alarm bells that didn’t make it onto my list. The incessant “I know what’s best for you, and you do not” tone is one of them. Sure, he’s 108 and she’s a teenager, but that doesn’t mean that Edward, of all the people in the entire world, always knows what’s best for Bella.
Sheila: That is so true. There are all kinds of things I thought were romantic when I was in my teens (and even into my early twenties) that today make me go, “CREEPY! CREEPY! GET AWAY FROM ME, FREAK!”
That’s the thing- girls think they want John Cusack in Say Anything…, but in reality that dude would have a restraining order.
That said, Peter Gabriel music is awesome.
LOL, I got a real kick out of how you twisted everything.
Tracy V. Wilson says: I’d be really impressed if someone stood outside my window holding up Peter Gabriel.
Tracy V. Wilson says: Also, Privoyd — I didn’t twist anything. Everything I mentioned is something Edward does in the books. Stephanie Meyer’s intent may not have been for him to seem like a creepy, abusive stalker, but he acts like one. If I had a daughter who wanted to read the “Twilight” series, she and I would be having a serious conversation about healthy relationship behavior along the way.
Geena Tracy V. Wilson says: It depends on whether the vampires can live off of non-human blood. In the “True Blood” mythology, TV version, vampires can only drink blood from humans (and synthetic blood substitute). But in most other modern vampire stories that I know of, vamps can live off of pretty much any blood. So with a big enough surviving population of mammals, vampires would probably do OK.
If roaches were all that was left, vampires would be out of luck, since roaches have hemolymph instead of blood.
Tracy V. Wilson says: Also, Geena, that is the best thing I’ve seen all day. If I hadn’t seen a clip of the 100 best lines from “The Wire” yesterday, it would be the best thing I’ve seen all week.
quixoticus says: Cracked.com brought this very subject up today on one of their articles. (http://www.cracked.com/article/201_the-6-most-unintentionally-creepy-movie-romances/) They brought up a point that I had been pondering as well: This guy is well over 100 years old… exactly how long has he been going to high school? 90-some years? How many other “Bellas” have there been? One doesn’t go to high school for nearly a century without dating at *some* point.
Loved the article, btw, as did my “team Jacob” friends.
Tracy V. Wilson says: Hi, Quixoticus. Thank you!
The amount of time the Cullen clan has spent in high school has always seemed bizarre to me. I absolutely hated all four years of high school and was overjoyed when it was over. So … an eternity of high school? Is that really better than death? Even if you get crazy vampire superpowers? Was Carlisle Cullen out of his mind in turning all these kids?
If I remember rightly, Edward and his family claim he’s done some dating, but only other vampires, and none he loved the way he loves Bella. He’s a loner, Dottie. A rebel.
quixoticus says: Pee Wee reference FTW!
Being a guy, I can’t claim know all the internal warning signs of the feminine psyche, but I would think that apart from everything else listed here, Constantly Reliving High School Guy is a major red flag in and of itself.
And speaking of even creepier than Twilight, I just remembered recently reading a not-very-good pseudo-vampire novel, “Fledgling” by Octavia Butler. Keeping my literary criticisms to myself, it’s disturbing enough that the main romance involves a 20/30-something human male and a 50/60 year-old “vampire” female… who looks like an eight year old girl. Makes Buffy & Angel seem downright wholesome.
gill says: Edward probably fits the definition of abuser. But Bella let’s also talk about Bella too. She’s totally obsessed with him. Some people may call it true love, I call it an obsession. They don’t have a healthy relatioship at all.
Sami says: One of things I find disturbing about this series is all of the 30-40 something women that are OBSESSED with Edward… I hate to admit that I read all the books; but I had to see if they got better. They didn’t. I too hated high school and nothing would SUCK more than to start over, and over, and over, and over; until I staked myself.
P.S. I loved the Pee Wee reference.
Nefertiti says: Basically everything he does creeps me out. He’s the ultimate stalker.
Lisa says: WOW! It’s so funny to me the critics view’s on the Twilight saga. It’s fine to simply not like the stories, not everyone has to like everything, but if you are going to pick out points to criticize then you should at least get the facts straight. For instance, Edward very much can read werewolves minds, that’s not why he waits for her. I was under the impression that it’s a good thing that when someone loves you they want the best for you, whether or not they express it in a politically correct fashion. How many relationships have you all been in that you said and did the exact right thing in every moment? In my world, any story that gives kids the passion to read isn’t bad, even if the critics say so.
Tracy V. Wilson says: Lisa, you’re right. It’s not Edward whose vampiric powers don’t work on Jacob. It’s Alice. That’s was my mistake. Alice can’t see Bella’s future (or the outcome of anything else) when it’s tied up with whatever’s going on with the werewolves, which is one of the reasons Edward meets Bella at the edge of their turf every time she goes to see them.
I haven’t said anything about whether I like or dislike the “Twilight” series, though. This isn’t a book review. What I have discussed is that the relationship between Edward and Bella is not an example of a healthy romance. And, as I said above, if I had a child who wanted to read “Twilight,” that portrayal is one of the things we’d talk about. I wouldn’t keep him or her from reading the books or say that reading them is bad.
Rhea says: Edward is creepy manipulative stalker stalker.
Twilight fans try to justify his behavior by insisting he is old-fashioned.
1)He lived through women liberation and the sexual revolution. So no, he really shouldn’t be that old-fashioned.
2)As someone who can read minds, the brains of women shouldn’t be a great mystery to him. He should know, better than anyone, what traumatizes and damages a person.
Rhea says: Edward is creepy manipulative stalker.
Twilight fans try to justify his behavior by insisting he is old-fashioned.
1)He lived through women liberation and the sexual revolution. So no, he really shouldn’t be that old-fashioned.
2)As someone who can read minds, the brains of women shouldn’t be a great mystery to him. He should know, better than anyone, what traumatizes and damages a person.
Em says: Yes, I love Edward.
Because everyone wants a creepy vampire sitting on their ceiling in the middle of the night.
I gave up on Twilight awhile ago. It’s being compared to Harry Potter, and it shouldn’t – it’s awfully written with no character depth at all.
Tracy V. Wilson says: You know, Em, somehow I had forgotten until just now that after Bella finds out Edward has been sneaking in without her knowledge to watch her sleep, he starts sneaking in with her knowledge to watch her sleep.
I think the Harry Potter comparison is mostly about the phenomenon. With Harry Potter, kids started lining up at midnight to buy a book. Twilight did the same thing with teens. (And both, of course, have their midnight-buying adult devotees.) But you’re right, as far as subject matter, writing and message, they’re vastly different.
Brandi says: THANK YOU!! I’ve been saying that Edward is a creepy stalker/control freak since I read the book! Is this what teen girls are going think is ok behavior for a boyfriend? Hey, I like a vampire story as much as anyone, but this should not be the example of a “good boyfriend” for girls.
(Also, vampires should NOT sparkle in the sun. They should burst into flame. And fast zombies are not zombies. Thank you.)
Brooke says: All I have to say is… will someone please conduct a critical feminist analysis on this series because it will be awesome!! I have not and will never touch or watch the Twilight stuff. But just what I have read on this blog and these comments… a feminist critique must be done.
Yeah, I pointed out the age thing immediately. The girl I was watching with didn’t agree my assessment that it was sick for this 80+ year old dude to be hooking up with a high school girl.