"Connie, forget building a Hilton on the moon. What about the constellation Ursa Major?" (Image courtesy AMCTV)

Like a lot of you, I recently watched the season finale of AMC’s “Mad Men,” the absolute best television show in which nothing actually happens. I got to wondering what a modern day Don Draper might apply himself to (aside from, obviously, sleeping around, drinking and smoking). Perhaps he’d use cutting-edge science for the good of advertising? Consider these two real-life possibilities. Each takes high-tech science and uses it to shill a product.

The pitch: Put corporate branding on individual cereal flakes
The goal: Tell competitors that if they want to compete with the big boys, they better get their own food laser.
The basics: All right, so the problem is sort of understandable. Kellogg makes corn flakes, but the company wants it to be absolutely clear that it’s not responsible for any of the cereal lookalikes out there — you know, like the giant sacks you find at the wholesale stores with pained and unfamiliar-looking cartoon mascots on them. Kellogg’s solution, however, comes off a little crazy. Will this lead to a day when Oscar Mayer hot dogs sing the corporate jingle with each bite? (source: The Telegraph)

The pitch: Advertise Doritos on distant worlds
The goal: Help astronomers pay the bills while scoring some added publicity.
The basics: Want to expand into new markets? How about an exoplanet 42 light-years away from Earth? Well, in 2008, British astronomers were hurting for funding, and Doritos decided to purchase some unprecedented ad time. The chip maker  even invited the public to submit 30-second adverts. Of course, Earth constantly pumps its annoying TV and radio advertisements out into space, but this marked the first time we aimed one specifically at another world. It transmitted from the EISCAT Space Centre in Svalbard, Norway, on June 12, 2008. As yet, no alien civilizations have arrived to get their appendages on our spicy flavored tortilla chips. (source:  Daily Mail)

So what do you think? Do you see Don Draper masterminding either of these, or do you see him as more of a “beam my ads directly into their skulls” sort of guy? Or would he just slap a Flash ad directly over Amanda Arnold and Scott Benjamin’s heads?

Enjoy a dark, manly mixed drink at HowStuffWorks.com:
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