Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart in "The Twilight Saga: New Moon." Does this look safe to you? (Photo by Kimberley French, © 2009 Summit Entertainment. All Rights Reserved)

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the connection between sex and vampires. This morning, I ran across a link to a different take on the topic in Salon’s Broadsheet blog. There, Tracy Clark-Flory writes about an article in Esquire that equates vampires with gay men. “Vampires have overwhelmed pop culture,” says Stephen Marche, “because young straight women want to have sex with gay men.”

Regardless of whether that’s an accurate assessment of the desires of young straight women, I can see how someone could make a connection between straight vampires and gay men. But, beyond the obvious metaphors, it mostly boils down to stereotypes rather than to reality. Many — but not all — of today’s male vampires seem to be cut from the same mold, with sculpted eyebrows, impressive wardrobes, carefully groomed hair and a hidden (or heavy-handed) sensitive side. In other words, “vampire” seems to have become another word for “metrosexual.” (TechStuff’s Jonathan Strickland blames this trend on Anne Rice novels and Hot Topic.)

But then, Marche’s argument takes another turn: Women, he writes, are looking for “Sex that’s dangerous and safe at the same time, risky but comfortable, gooey and violent but also traditional and loving.” And that’s where he loses me. The vampire sex scenes in books, movies or film that immediately come to mind are definitely dangerous and not at all safe. On “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” Angel’s one encounter with Buffy turns him into the soulless demon Angelus, who kills Buffy’s friends and tortures her Watcher. Later on, Spike and Buffy literally tear the house down in an increasingly confrontational sexual relationship. ["Breaking Dawn" spoiler incoming.] When Edward and Bella consummate their marriage, Bella winds up covered in bruises, and Edward refuses to touch her again. Plus, Bella gets pregnant with a half-vampire child that kills her during delivery. I haven’t watched enough of “True Blood” yet to comment on Bill Compton’s relationship with Sookie Stackhouse, but the other vampire liaisons I’ve seen on the show so far have been heavy on the violence and light on the safety.

Maybe the sex is safer in “The Vampire Diaries” — if there is any — but since I haven’t watched it, I don’t know.

How about you — can you think of any vampire relationships that really are both safe and dangerous?

More on it at HowStuffWorks.com:
Why is it so difficult to separate “vampire” from “sex”?
How Vampires Work
How Sex Works
How Women Work
How Men Work