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How to Make a Professional Apology

by Cristen Conger |

68 Comments | Add Comment

 

Rep. Joe Wilson of South Carolina publicly apologized for shouting "You lie" during President Obama's healthcare speech on Sept. 9. (Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Rep. Joe Wilson of South Carolina publicly apologized for shouting "You lie" during President Obama's healthcare speech on Sept. 9. (Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Rep. Joe Wilson of South Carolina had some apologizing to do after shouting out “You lie” to President Obama during his healthcare reform speech to the joint session of Congress on Wednesday night. I listened to the speech on the radio and couldn’t distinguish what Rep. Wilson said, but I figured it wasn’t nice since a chorus of boos quickly followed. According to the New York Times, the congressman left the building immediately after the speech and released a public statement of apology soon after.

While Wilson’s stunning breach of protocol is a worst-case scenario for having to make a professional apology, there are fundamental principles on how to go about it. Holly Weeks, for The Harvard Management Update, stresses that these types of apologies must be handled with special care since they can make or break a professional relationship. According to Weeks, there are three parts to an appropriate apology:

•    Acknowledge the fault: address the offense, don’t dance defensively around it.
•    Communicate regret: if you don’t express remorse for the effects of your offense, no one’s going to buy the sob story. This also conveys your intention to not let it happen again.
•    Take responsibility: own up to what you — not co-workers, managers, or anyone else. — did. Doing so demonstrates integrity.

A BusinessWeek article on the ethics of apology also says to use direct language. Saying “I’m sorry” carries more weight than “I want to apologize.” Having to apologize in a professional setting isn’t a comfortable situation for anyone, but the best way to recover is to take ownership and possibly ask for help if it’s an issue that could come up again. And if you’re on the receiving end of a professional apology, accept it and move forward.

So how does Rep. Wilson’s public apology measure up? Here’s part of the statement, via Huffington Post:

“This evening I let my emotions get the best of me. While I disagree with the president’s statement, my comments were inappropriate and regrettable. I extend sincere apologies to the president for this lack of civility.”

Acknowledgment, regret and responsibility — check, check and check. He also phoned the White House that evening to apologize directly to White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel. The following day, President Obama publicly accepted the apology, saying “[Wilson] apologized quickly and without equivocation, and I’m appreciative of that.”

Now, the only person Rep. Wilson may need to apologize to is himself. In barely two days after the incident, Wilson’s Democratic opponent for Congress had reportedly raked in $750,000 in new contributions.

More on HowStuffWorks:
How U.S. Healthcare Reform Works
10 Myths About U.S. Healthcare Reform Proposals
How Medicare Works

 

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68 Comments

  • internet elias says:

    Apologies are easy and usually follow each ‘open mouth – insert foot’ offense. In this case, the apology doesn’t erase the ‘core’ motivation for the offense…lack of respect for the sitting President…and more importantly…lack of respect for the seat itself. The shout, ‘YOU LIE!’…has started our nation and its government on a road of no return. ‘YOU LIE’ is a marker of this generation…a generation of division, discord, disrespect, and superficial value systems. The apology can’t make up for the from-the-heart cry, ‘YOU LIE!’

  • howbigspill says:

    I have to agree, at least in part, with the first comment here. In a karma scoring system, I would argue that the value of an apology can never equal the value of the original offense. In other words:

    apology < offense

    The apology is nice, but what would have been nicer is if Rep. Wilson had never yelled "you lie!" in the first place. I'm also pretty sure that, apology or not, he still thinks the president is lying. That much seems pretty clear.

  • Cristen Conger says:

    I certainly agree with both of you, which is why I mentioned that it’s a worst-case scenario, in that it’s the type of thing that’s going to follow Rep. Wilson around for the rest of his political career. Also, the fact that his opponent has raised $750k in the past two days speaks to the ripple effects of such an inappropriate outburst.

    No matter what side of the political spectrum you sit on, I thought it was an interesting case in how on earth you even address such a misstep, and the thing public figures must do is offer a speedy apology — even if it’s just a PR move.

  • theprettyproject says:

    I know I shouldn’t, but I just can’t keep myself from laughing that Joe Wilson screamed, “you lie” to the President of the United States. I do admire that he apologized but seriously, what choice did he have. :)
    http://www.theprettyproject.com

  • Great post! I agree, shouting out “you lie!” in a public forum was not only in poor taste, but just plain disrespectful to the President. There is no excuse, and no apology that can make it better. You can’t take back what has already been said and done. I think he knew full well what he was doing. He’s probably ticked that President Obama was elected president in the first place. I don’t think he ever had any respect for him.

  • Robert Lamb says:

    This reminds me of Steve Martin’s humor piece “A Public Apology.”
    http://www.stevemartin.com/world_of_steve/print/a_public_apology.php

    Here’s the audio version:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDSjV0mkSzE

    ~rl

  • barefootonthebeach11 says:

    The last line of your post is really quite comforting to me. I have been reading countless articles about “I’m with joe wilson” t-shirt sales and fan sites. Have been slightly terrified the past couple days that screaming at the president of the united states is now an applause-worthy offense.

    Very interesting post also. As long as your statement drips with remorse, it doesn’t matter in the slightest whether or not you actually feel any.

  • Cristen Conger says:

    Right, barefoot. I ran across this study in the Monitor on Psychology that found that people don’t really care if an apology is sincere or not, as long as one is offered: http://www.apa.org/monitor/jun07/insincere.html. It may just be the act of contrition and humility that matters more than the sentiment behind it.

  • I really like this article, great insight on how to apologize publically. My girl is mad at me right now so you wrote article at the right time.

    http://epaidfromhome.wordpress.com/2009/09/12/never-give-up/

  • Monique Dieudonne says:

    This made for an interesting read. I must say that Joe Wilson knew better than to “let his emotions get the best of him.” I’m baffled by his approach to the situation because this was not an open discussion it was a speech. I wonder what he wanted to accomplish by yelling out of turn, and at the president no less.

  • kevin says:

    He is a real idiot

  • robby says:

    The man is a socialist, and indeed illegal immigrants will be covered with this bill. He will not be happy until he digs this country deeper into the ground. He is a liar, and I’m glad someone had the courage to say it. I would not apologize for that comment, just like the democrats didn’t apologize for booing President Bush. He’s bad news, and sadly, the majority of Americans were dooped.

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  • Mark says:

    We still have so much hope, but then moments like this occur and Rush Limbaugh moments occurs, emotional arguments occur, progress does not occur and the whole world steps on our divided nation. I am not terribly optimistic about how things are going with our government and the media which show such apathy and craziness when we are in the most serious situation we have maybe ever been in as a nation.

  • Paula says:

    Once you have done this you cannot say you are sorry. No amount of sorry can undo the damage don so there is no reason to say anything. You knew when you did this that you would look like an unruly third grader, and you did it for that reason. Be a man. Say you have no mannera. Please believe me you will be in much company in South Carolina.

    It would be like if I stole something from a store. They catch me and I say I am sorry. They decide to accept my apology. Then I still want to keep the stolen stuff. I do not believe that this is a way to give an apology.

    If you are really sorry you will do something as good for the country as this was bad. We are beginning to look like a nation of clowns and fools and you really advanced that opinion last night. i want to write everyone and explain that ignorance is the preferred state of being in South Carolina.

  • Brian says:

    Actions speak louder than words to the human mind. Therefore, an apology must be followed by actions to reinforce the words.

    It is asking a lot that one demands not only an apology from another, but also a complete change of heart, opinion, and sentiment. Joe Wilson can continue thinking the President is a liar all he wants. His declaration of his opinion was at an inappropriate time.

    Remarkable how easily we forget how many times Republicans were interrupted during their speeches at the conventions. I must also point out that I cannot help but wonder that, if a Democratic Representative had called out “You liar!” to George W. Bush, that Representative would have been labeled “courageous” or a true patriot!

    Joe WIlson violated an American tradition of civility. He apologized. Case closed. He is perfectly entitled to his opinion, though.

  • Dindy says:

    Interesting comments. When I used to teach kindergarten, I was interested at how many kids would do something like slap another kid and then quickly say, “I’m sorry!” when they realized the teacher had seen them and there was about to be a consequence. “But I said I was sorry!” they would cry when I sent them off to time out, and I would continuously tell them that saying you are sorry doesn’t erase the fact that you did it in the first place. In this as in so many other things, actions speak louder than words and the true measure of the level of one’s sincerity in issuing an apology is how one acts later. If you continue engaging in the same behavior then the apology, no matter how sincere, is worthless.

    Obama was very gracious in accepting Wilson’s apology and expressing a wish to go forward. If Wilson is TRULY sincere in his apology, then I would expect that he not exhibit such behavior (accusing the president of lying)again. Otherwise his apology is meaningless.

  • Solana2012 says:

    Wilson apologized and was sorry for speaking out-of-turn.
    Obama was at that time, in fact, either uninformed, misguided by his advisors, and/or lying.
    Wilson publicly apologized for what he did “wrong”;
    What’s Obama’s excuse?

  • If Wilson was looking for publicity, he was certainly successful. It seems that his rudeness also had financial benefits. As for exposing his weakness of character, he will never be able to get that back. He is who he is.

  • Solana2012 says:

    Mavis Mathews,
    OMG! I had no idea Wilson could see into the future and know that millions of people would support his objection to the president lying, live on national television, to the citizens of the United States! I’m gonna have to contact Wilson and ask him what the winning Powerball numbers will be tonight. Thank you for the info.

  • Larry Brewer says:

    Joe Wilson for a moment acted like a democrat, and I’m sure he is sorry for that. In the meantime, the thing he shouted about has a lot of attention. As Joe said, the bill did not have anything in it to prevent illegal aliens from getting free health care. Simply because any efforts to require identification were taken out by the democrats twice.
    If you have no way to inforce rules, they are useless. And the democrats who wrote the bill planned it that way.
    Now that attention has been focused on that (thanks JOE), a lot of work is being done to change it.

  • lawyermommy says:

    I do not know WHY Obama accepted his apology. He has set an unfortunate precedent now for himself and other Presidents after him. He should not have responded to the question regarding the apology from that BRUTE, Joe Wilson.
    There is a difference between disagreement and just being an uncivil boor.

    Obama is the President and whether people like him or not, he still must be respected.

    I liked George Bush (still do). He was largely the reason I supported the Republican party in the last two elections– preceding the Obama one. Bush, Cheney and Powell all LIED to us however calling them liars during an address even though we knew they had sold us the “Brooklyn bridge” would have been grossly improper.

    This madness is being fueled by the Presidents apparent willingness to turn the other cheek. Would Bush and Cheney have turned the other cheek at such a vile remark from this brute, I think not!

    http://theblindspotsofgod.wordpress.com/

  • Solana 2012 says:

    One should respect expected behavior, like not shouting out during a joint session of congress. The apology was called for and given.
    One should respect the position and office of the President of the United States of America.
    One should respect our flag, yet, because of the right of freedom of speech, the flag may be publicly burned, and offended patriots must “shut up and take it”.
    One should respect our constitutional right to freedom of religion, yet the majority of this nation, Christians, must now “shut up” and practice freedom from religion.

    As for the president, himself, well, as with any individual of any color, any religion, and any sex in this country, he has to EARN the respect of the people.
    Lying to America is not the way for him to earn any respect.
    Thank you, Mr. Wilson, for having the courage to voice what millions of Americans are thinking.

  • lawyermommy says:

    Solana 2012,

    Respect attaches to the Office of the President. You seem to have it confused with something personal.

    Here is an example. If you have children, as their parent, you automatically have respect attached to that position. It is reasonably expected that your children will not spit at you and beat you up even if you do not agree with them on issues.
    The respect here is not as a result of your being infallible as a parent, but because you ARE the parent.

    The President if the United States of America is an office that demands respect. No matter how much anyone disagrees with Obama’s policies, there is still a right way to do it. Screaming at the President while he is making a speech is crass. Joe Wilson has sprung himself into notoriety, he is a boor.

    The issue is not disagreement but how it is done. Joe Wilson was barbaric in his screams. I guess next time, he might wrestle Obama to the ground or pull his hair?
    How crass! What an ill bred brute.

    http://theblindspotsofgod.wordpress.com/

  • Shame on the 23-Percenters says:

    Wilson refused to apologize on the floor of the House to his fellow Congressmen. He also tapped away on his Blackberry for most of President Obama’s address.

    Even worse, Wilson “you lie!” outburst was also factually wrong. Those who still cling to his fringe party (according to a recent Pew poll, only **23 percent** of Americans identify themselves as Republicans) and want to believe otherwise are also living a lie.

    “We are long past the time when we can pretend there are two serious political parties in this country – one right of center and one left of center. That is the situation in virtually every other industrialized country…But that is not the case here. We have one party that is severely compromised by its ties to big money, and another party that is just plain nuts…

    The Republican Party has become a small minority of out-of-mainstream people (think Representative Joseph Wilson’s outburst to the president this week) but, by virtue of its history, of the media attention it receives, and, frankly, by default, it still occupies a central place in our political life. In any other Western democracy it might have become a far-right splinter party. In America, we don’t really have splinter parties. When one of our parties goes crazy, it doesn’t slide to the margins.”

    http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2009/09/12/the_extreme_republican_party/?page=full

  • Tony A says:

    Although the President deserves respect, the American people deserve the truth. If Rep. Wilson was chastised by members of Congress, then We the People deserve to chastise President Obama for telling a lie. That’s simply what Rep Wilson was doing. At first he appeared to have the backbone, but then lost it. We need more people like him to speak the truth – although he let his peers talk him down to apologize.

    Read more here:
    http://churchofchristblog.com/2009/09/10/obama-the-smooth-the-liar/

  • Lord, Deliver Me from Your Followers says:

    “Thou shalt not commit false witness” sounds pretty clear to me, but not others I guess…

    Lord, deliver me from your followers!

  • Teresa Badgett says:

    No matter what his,
    (Wilson) reasoning, such an outburst was just plain rude. Our kindergarteners would not pull such a stunt during show and tell. Some one, another individual has the floor….let them speak.

  • Kris Askins says:

    When you say “our kindergarteners” you do mean democraps right. Why is O.K. when they do it but wrong when a Republican does. All he did is say what all of us backwoods rednecks wish we could say to this pompous president and his croanies. Thanks Mr. Wilson.

  • ObamaIsAKenyan says:

    His apology is not meant to “make up” for the statement. He is apologizing for the timing, not the statement. He has every right to be furious with this president and administration.

  • Coon 2 says:

    Forgetting for the moment that the facts clearly show that either the President was not aware of what’s in the Health Care Reform Bill or that he was, in fact lying, there seems to be more than a modicum of unfairness in allowing the Democrats to express their approval by interrupting the speech 65 times for applause and 37 times for standing ovations but not allowing the other side an equal amount of interruptions to show their displeasure. The Democrats frequently talk about all the wonderful liberal programs in Great Britain, so let’s use the British model for Congressional speeches.

  • HalfGay says:

    This is unprecedented to yell at the President in a joint session of Congress. UNPRECEDENTED! This had more to do with an agenda by his party to humiliate and disrespect this President by any means necessary than with his disagreement with the President. What Representative Wilson has done is show extreme disrespect for an office he should show deference for. There are forums to show your disagreements with policy or proposals.

  • Bhogireddy prudhvi narayana says:

    After Geroge Bush, incident, this type public objections, to attract press and public become a fashion. Here people try to come into focus withless effort catching attention of the world. May be it is trickery or a spontaneous outburst. Honest outburst of greivance should be properly
    evaluated. firstly it is rarest of rare comments we ever haar in our life time. It needs guts to make such comments,. If there is truth in the said comment, the person against whom such comment is made will be made to realiase to be careful in his presentation, as he foresees similar things in future without others.

    Once u made the comment , there need not be any apology,what for an apology? when u made a sincere and honest point to correctt the administration. The way it is made is not correct, but it is a spontaneious outburst of a honest leader. Human beings are not angels to control all things all the time, and losing the right oppurtunities, saving them for future use, which future never turns up. The object of comment ie President should be one to reflect into the situation, and give fair explanation defying the comment.The person who made it uncivilizedly, has already reaped the consequence of gaining bad repuration as ill tempered man. Now, by apologiging openly, he will make himself spineless.Face the world with highhead, if there is truth in the comment. U are hero. If us wish to imitate, the
    Bush event, then he is a fool. People know the difference between sugar and saccharine.

  • BadWitch says:

    Sincerely apologizing for poor upbringing and no class are one thing, but it’s much harder to buy it for pure and simple racism.

  • Douglas says:

    Wilson apologized for what he did that he felt was wrong, interrupting the President’s speech. He did not, and should not, apologize for the words he used or the sentiment he expressed. We have Freedom of Speech in this country. Whether you agree with what he said or not, you should respect that.

  • Fred says:

    Racism? Could you please explain how this is racism.

  • Solana2012 says:

    lawyermommy:
    Comparing adult US citizens to infants is not a very good analogy.
    Parents raise their minor children, are responsible for the behavior of their minor children, and command respect; and not all do it well which is why you have out-of-control teenagers who are illiterate, doing drugs, committing crimes, and dead.
    A person, and adult individual, no matter what position he’s in or what office he holds (CEO, teacher, lawyer, brick-layer) does not automatically guarantee respect. Bad teachers are fired (like the ones who molested their students), bad lawyers get dis-barred, bad CEO’s get bailouts and then, after getting their bonuses, get fired. I could go on and on. The president inherits the expectation of respect of the position at inauguration. What he does after that determines whether or not he gets to keep that respect. Obama is a liar – that is a fact. Obama is trying to force socialism down our throats. Obama’s mentor, his minister, is a racist. Obama’s best friend is a terrorist (his political coming-out party was at his home). Obama was raised by his white mother and calls himself black for his own agenda. I was raised Catholic, by parents of Irish and German ancestry. I call myself an American. I will be respectful to the president. I don’t respect him. I don’t have to respect him. That right is guaranteed in my constitution.

  • Solana2012 says:

    lawyermommy,
    Also, you are now exaggerating the event.
    Wilson was not, “Screaming at the President while he is making a speech”. Wilson shouted two words.
    If you are a lawyer, you are aware that yelling is not an assault; putting your hands on another is.
    How dare you state and accuse that Wilson will commit an assault? He’s done nothing to warrant that accusation. Your implication that everyone who yells will then commit a felony assault is ridiculous.

    It’s because of people like you, people who cannot stick to the facts, that issues get clouded.

  • Solana2012 says:

    To “Coon 2″ and to “Douglas” for your posts:
    Well stated! (for those of you who missed them, they are copied below).

    To “BadWitch”:
    Every time something doesn’t go “Obama’s way”, someone (like you) starts spouting “racist” with absolutely no fact or quote to support it. What word in the statement, “You lie!” implies racism?
    I rest MY case.
    —————————————-

    Coon 2 said:
    September 12, 2009 at 9:38 pm
    Forgetting for the moment that the facts clearly show that either the President was not aware of what’s in the Health Care Reform Bill or that he was, in fact lying, there seems to be more than a modicum of unfairness in allowing the Democrats to express their approval by interrupting the speech 65 times for applause and 37 times for standing ovations but not allowing the other side an equal amount of interruptions to show their displeasure. The Democrats frequently talk about all the wonderful liberal programs in Great Britain, so let’s use the British model for Congressional speeches.

    Douglas said:
    September 13, 2009 at 8:21 am
    Wilson apologized for what he did that he felt was wrong, interrupting the President’s speech. He did not, and should not, apologize for the words he used or the sentiment he expressed. We have Freedom of Speech in this country. Whether you agree with what he said or not, you should respect that.

  • Ben Wildrick says:

    There are certain relevant FACTS that we need to state here. Politicians lie. They bend the truth, twist it, to fit their political needs. Democrats do it. Republicans do it. Libertarians do it. Socialists do it, and so on. Sounds pretty cynical, but who could argue? Right? City councilor to President — it’s simply part of the job. I’m sorry, but if you can’t accept that then you shouldn’t participate in a meaningful dialogue about the “You lie!” outburst. What we have forgotten to do in this country is simply have a good debate, or discussion. Impulsive, child-like outbursts, like Wilson’s are evidence of an any-thing-goes mind set. We have rules to prevent every Joe, Dick and Harry from having tantrums like that: whether its a child in the classroom or a congressman. Our citizenry though has a really hard time balancing their constitutional right to free speech with the common good. As I tell my 13 year old son, “you can THINK whatever you want, but you have to think carefully about what you SAY.” In this case, Wilson was expressing an opinion (sure we could debate this — but let’s do it with out shouting and screaming, lets sit down, present facts, the way intelligent adult do it.) It makes me ashamed to see fellow Americans at town hall meetings and congressman in the capital, behaving like this.

  • Brent says:

    Joe Wilson is my hero!

    Joe Wilson should NOT have apologized! He spoke for millions of Americans and it is NOT inappropriate to tell the truth about Obama. He IS lying! To suggest that he is a racist is ABSURD! Those obsessed with race are the true racists.

    Wilson will run for president and DEFEAT Obama in 2012.

  • Solana2012 says:

    Brent,
    I disagree with you.
    Wilson should not have spoken out of turn and put himself on the same level with the Democrats and other Obama supporters who were present who rudely and loudly interrupted their respected President of the United States’ speech with blind-faith-applause, loud yelling, and standing ovations 102 times; Wilson should have respected the decorum of the meeting, even though the Obama supporters also showed no respect for the president. He should apologize for the interruption, and he did. It was the polite thing to do.
    I do agree with you that Obama was lying. That is a fact.
    Wilson should not retract his actual statement, because it was true, which he didn’t.
    The Obama supporters/Democrats issued NO apologies. I couldn’t make out many of the words that were being shouted out during these rude interruptions; I hope they weren’t screaming bad things like, “you lie”, or “racist” or “impeach him”; 102 additional apologies are called for.

    And using simple math (if A=B and B=C then A=C) we can now also state it’s the fact that:
    Non-Obama-Supporters are polite and well-mannered and Obama-Supporters are not.

  • lawyermommy says:

    Solana2012:

    This word play you are using is strange. Hmmmm,…..You will be respectful to the President but will not respect him?
    Here is a quote from my original post:
    “Respect attaches to the Office of the President”. So you are repeating what I already stated. Because he is President you have to respect his office.
    Your emotions regarding “respecting him” etc. are not relevant or related to the respect to be accorded to that office.

    Also the simple analogy I made using the position of parents was not understood by you. It however holds true.
    Parents hold a “position”. Children who do not have parents (or whose parents cannot do the job of same) have people who act “In Loco Parenti”. The analogy I provided explains Respect as attached to p-o-s-i-t-i-o-n.

    I cannot address all the other issues you have with the President as it appears you have quite a few strong ones. We live in a thriving democracy so we your views are important and expressing them, key.
    Good luck during the next election because as it stands, the American people must not have agreed with you because they elected him President. :)
    In 2012, you will speak with your vote, if you vote.

    As for the scream by that belligerent and crass Joe wilson. Again, let me restate the point I made earlier, he SCREAMED during a speech. Even if it was one word-it was screamed at the President during a speech.

    Here is a quote from YOUR original comments here: “One should respect expected behavior, like not shouting out during a joint session of “congress. The apology was called for and given.”
    You used the word “shouting”. It is a little unclear now why you are attempting to contradict yourself by stating two words cannot constitute a scream, shout?

    Lastly,on the issue you raised about assault.There is a theory which applies not only in Law but in life and it is called “reasonable expectation”.
    Since Wilson the screaming boor of a congressman does not understand proper conduct and etiquette expected during a speech being presented by the President of our great country, it can be reasonably expected that Wilson could commit other such acts against that office. His past conduct (the screams) has created Reasonable Expectations about his future conduct.

    If you do not mind, let me provide you another analogy :) — A vile Reprobate who views child pornography can reasonably be expected to become a child molester– if he is not one already. His initial conduct would lead to a reasonable expectation that he is a criminal and is capable of performing even more heinous acts.
    So my remarks about Joe Wilson’s past conduct and what could happen in the future based on such boorish conduct is factual.

    It is a wonderful weekend(in most parts)–enjoy :)

    LM

    http://theblindspotsofgod.wordpress.com/

  • Douglas says:

    Lawyermommy, Do you really mean to imply that a Congressman would physically assault the president? Because that is what I infer from your statement “So my remarks about Joe Wilson’s past conduct and what could happen in the future based on such boorish conduct is factual.”

    By the way, “screams” are in the ear of the beholder. I suspect that those who are very pro-Obama heard a scream while those who are indifferent or opposed to Obama heard a shout.

    I suggest you watch CSPAN sometime when the televise a British Parliament session. Some people in the US are over reacting.

  • herrdoktor says:

    Joe Wilson loves the blacks.

  • Solana2012 says:

    lawyermommy,
    I didn’t use any wordplay when I responded to your comments.
    Yes, you stated, “Respect attaches to the Office of the President.”

    You also said, “The President if the United States of America is an office that demands respect.”

    I agree with you 100% on both of those statements. Maybe you didn’t understand that.

    What I disagree with is that, though we both agree that the title, office, position, meaning, whatever you choose to call it, is to be respected, the actual individual who fills the position is a completely different issue. Maybe you can’t see the difference between an intangible and a tangible.

    As for my statement that I do not respect the president but I will be respectful toward him (which you call wordplay):
    I had professors, one in particular that I remember from an anthropology class who professed to be Jewish, who annually taught that Catholics practice cannibalism during communion. Though I did not respect him nor his “teachings” to thousands of impressionable students, though I thought that it was a ridiculous idea for him to try to rationalize, though I thought he was an idiot, I was always respectful to him in his classroom. He was not the president of the US, but he was a person in authority.
    My ex-mother-in-law was a bad woman. I did not respect her. Out of consideration for my ex-husband, I was always respectful to her.
    I was taught to be respectful to people in authority, to my elders, to others. I was not taught to change my religion and my moral views and values if a person in authority didn’t agree with them, and adopt theirs or adapt to theirs.
    Are you only are respectful to those you actually respect? Let me be “emotional” and say that I don’t think that’s very nice.

    Also, I did not contradict myself. I shouted at my children. I scream when a wasp is about to sting me (it’s my one phobia). If you want to call Wilson’s shout a scream, so be it. To me, a scream is high-pitched and raised a few octaves over a shout. Unlike you, I believe you can actually shout more than one word at a time, and I believe you can actually scream less than two words at a time. You accused me of word play. Right back at you.

    And your new analogy, “A vile Reprobate who views child pornography can reasonably be expected to become a child molester” again, is not applicable. Your are now speaking of a criminal committing another criminal act. I agree with you that there is a reasonable expectation there; Since viewing child pornography is a crime, and he has already committed a crime, there is reasonable expectation he will commit another crime.

    Again, I state that yelling (or in your case, screaming) is not a crime.
    Therefore, there is no reasonable expectation of a criminal act to follow.
    If you stated there is a reasonable expectation that Wilson will again inappropriately “shout out” (or in your case, “scream out”), I would agree with you. Again not criminal. You have stated Wilson is now reasonably expected to commit a criminal act of assault. I say you are using your emotions and have personal issues you need to address, and you are incorrect and have absolutely no basis in fact to make that statement.

    You keep stating I’m using “emotions” and “my own personal issues”….
    maybe, but if so, no more so than you.

  • Solana2012 says:

    Douglas,
    The on-going debate lawyermommy and I seem to be having is from her September 12, 2009 at 3:04 pm statement:

    “The issue is not disagreement but how it is done. Joe Wilson was barbaric in his screams. I guess next time, he might wrestle Obama to the ground or pull his hair”

    both of which are criminal assault.
    This is, to me, the mentality of the liberals – change the facts, make it look worse than it is, start rumors, hurl unfounded accusations.

  • lawyermommy says:

    Solana2012:

    Here is a dictionary.com definition, Scream is “To shout or speak shrilly”.
    I am posting your quote from your original remark.
    You stated:

    “Lawyermommy,
    Also, you are now exaggerating the event.
    Wilson was not, “Screaming at the President while he is making a speech”. Wilson shouted two words.”

    So you can see that you are contradicting yourself. So he was not screaming? Or was he screaming. Which one are you deciding to accept now for yourself. My original remarks have not changed. Let me repeat Wilson SCREAMED at the President during an address, I stated it before and that is what occurred. Nothing has changed in from any of my prior comments. :)

    Again, you stated:

    “I will be respectful to the president. I don’t respect him. I don’t have to respect him”.

    You simply repeated what I had stated myself regarding respecting the office of the President however, you threw in an emotional twist in stating that YOU do not have to respect him. No one cares about that, at least I certainly do not. To each his own feelings and political ideology. So in stating your personal feelings about respect you are addressing something that is not relevant or material. You respect his office. Period.

    And as for the last issue you mentioned regarding your personal experiences with your mother in law etc. that was interesting reading however, let me point out another remark you made:

    “How dare you state and accuse that Wilson will commit an assault? He’s done nothing to warrant that accusation. Your implication that everyone who yells will then commit a felony assault is ridiculous”.

    Ok, your remark as pasted above is a tad absurd. I did not accuse Wilson of committing assault. However as I explained in fair detail earlier, people who act boorish in the manner that Wilson did, create R-e-a-s-o-n-a-b-l-e E-x-p-e-c-t-a-t-i-o-n-s about their conduct. It is a simple theory, legal and applicable to life.

    Lastly, I do not know how much you know about CYBERCRIMINALS but I have been criminalized by “Eve Sharon Moore” of the website “Blackfemaleinterracialmarriage” for the past Nine years. She is a felon whose crimes originate online.

    Cybercriminality such as viewing child porn on the Internet is treated very differently from “real time molestation of children”. While they are both illegal, the Cybercrime is more difficult to prosecute and the reprobates who commit such crimes remain free for a long time.
    However, when a case is being made for instituting a further and more rigorous investigation of such Reprobates, the fact that they view child pornography is sometimes sufficient– in terms of probable cause (and the other facts of the case) —to warrant the grant of more indepth investigation such as wiretaps etc.

    One of the Jurisprudential reasons that this sort of more indepth scrutiny is frequently approved by the courts is because of the concept of “reasonable expectations” based on prior conduct. The theory is not limited to felonies. It is applicable to conduct in general.

    Again,my initial position is not rebuttable. Wilson screamed at the President during a speech. His conduct was crass and improper and it evinced a lack of control.

    Crass and improper conduct could escalate into worse lack of control. George Bush was assaulted by an angry journalist who threw his shoes at him. Emotive and crass conduct is subject to the theory of reasonable expectations. So, you are wrong despite your rich and interesting personal examples.

    My statements regarding reasonable expectations of the conduct of an individual based on past conduct stand true and is a standard basis in a number of legal principles.
    Since it appears my simple analogies prove to be more complex to understand for you. I will not make another one.

    Wilson is a boor. His conduct during a Presidential address was grossly improper and disrespectful.

    My day is going well. I hope yours is too.

    Cheers and warm regards :)

    LM

    http://theblindspotsofgod.wordpress.com/

  • Lili Ren says:

    Thanks the share

  • Solana2012 says:

    LOL @ lawyermommy!
    This is a blog. People here are “supposed” to say “how they feel” regarding factual issues. You stating “no one cares about my emotional twist” may be true, but, so what? You call Wilson a boor; sounds like an emotional twist on your part. I think, at this moment, he’s anything but – he’s all over the news for bashing your messiah. You, yourself, can’t stop talking about him. You are a hypocrite!
    As for all your definitions, analogies, blah blah blah; you’re now graping at straws. Even your own “definition” of scream is over your head. “To shout or speak shrilly”…look up “shrilly”. Wilson did not “shout shrilly” or “speak shrilly”. Now, you’re grasping so hard, you’re trying to compare Wilson with a cyber-criminal…LOL And with the angry foreigner who threw a shoe at Bush (again, assault, not words)…grasp away LOL
    I’m done with you. You’re a boor.

  • lawyermommy says:

    Solana 2012;

    The points I made bear repeating because you have failed again, it appears, to grasp my statements.

    “To shout OR speak shrilly”.<< That is the definition of a scream. A SHOUT can also be described as a scream, the defining word in that description is the word OR. Thus Wilson screamed at our able President.

    I did not compare Wilson to a Cyber criminal.
    Again, as I indicated, "Eve Sharon Moore" of the website "BlackFemaleInterracialMarriage" blog and "BlackWomenblowthe trumpet" blog is a cybercrimal that has brutally criminalized me for a very long time. I compared the acts of other similar Predators and online Pedophiles to this woman.

    The parity I drew between this female Predator and Wilson was to explain the theory of "Reasonable Expectations" as related to conduct.

    Wilson's acts showed a lack of control just as the "nutty" Shoe thrower's conduct showed same.
    Wilson's conduct was boorish, and since it evinced a lack of control, I stated that it could be reasonably expected that if unchecked, could escalate. Again, my statement, as I explained to you, was based on the simple concept of Reasonable Expectations".

    Wilson is in the news,so? As I stated in my initial post to you. We live in a thriving democracy, dissent is a needed component of it, it is how we disagree that is the issue. Joe Wilson's conduct was grossly improper.

    Hmmmm…. You stated, "I’m done with you. You’re a boor"
    You make it sound like we were involved in more than an online discourse??

    Abuse and invective such as you have used to me is usually an index of the state of mind of the abusers not those against whom they attempt to spew venom. I will not call you a Crass Plebeian or describe you as disgustingly Coarse. However, your remarks appear to portray you as such. Not good.

    Have a nice week. :)

    LM

    http://theblindspotsofgod.wordpress.com/

  • Douglas says:

    Lawyermommy, you are being very, very selective in your definition. “Scream” is not synonymous with “shout”, you must add “shrilly” or “in a high pitch” to be honest.

    In fact, at the website you cited, the first two definitions were:

    1. to utter a loud, sharp, piercing cry.
    2. to emit a shrill, piercing sound: The sirens and whistles screamed.

    You chose, deliberately, the THIRD definition because it fit your argument. And, even then, ignored the “shrilly” adverb.

    I would stay out of this but I dislike those who argue dishonestly.

  • Solana2012 says:

    Douglas,
    Thank you for your fairness. I had ended that “debate”, but you were very kind.
    Some people only see and hear what they selectively want to see and hear;
    take Maureen Dowd (and I quote):

    “Surrounded by middle-aged white guys — a sepia snapshot of the days when such pols ran Washington like their own men’s club — Joe Wilson yelled “You lie!” at a president who didn’t.
    But, fair or not, what I heard was an unspoken word in the air: You lie, Boy!”

    This is why horrible accusations like “racist” are hurled with no basis, why a two-word-shout becomes “he was screaming at the president”, and why acts of fictitious, impending felonious behavior can be implied toward a verbal dissenter.
    It’s very sad.

  • lawyermommy says:

    Douglas,

    You have no point.

    You are attempting to defend a commenter who is obviously over her head in the issues I discussed. She also appears confused, ill informed and above all unable to grasp rudimentary concepts even regarding dissent as the main stay of a thriving democracy. Wow!

    First. Solana2012 misquoted my example of the Cyber Criminal. Let me repeat:”Eve Sharon Moore” aka Lisa Vasquez aka Halima Sal Andersen of the websites “Blackfemaleinterracialmarriage blog”, “Blackwomenblowthetrumpet” blog and “Blaackwomensinterracialrelationshipcircle” is a criminal who like others of her ilk only get worse if not routed.

    However, I mentioned that felon, “Eve Sharon Moore”, in a bid to compare the theory of “Reasonable Expectations” and escalating CONDUCT.

    In that instance I discussed felons like this woman “Eve Sharon Moore” in the context of her escalating Predatory ways– much in the same way as Child porn viewers and Child molesters. (Read my original post on this matter, above). :)

    Also, as you have pointed out, there are many definitions for the word “Scream”.
    I chose one that fit the issue I was elucidating. Your purpose in citing other definitions is again ridiculously bogus. So what if there are other definitions for one word? It does not invalidate other definitions!

    The one I used was applicable, a concise definition clearly stated in writing in the referenced dictionary.

    My explanations to Solana2012 have gone over her head– and her shrew like end to her last comment were quite indicative of her over all intellect and background.
    *Sigh*
    Name calling is the preserve of school yard bullies and touts. Not for use on boards which generate discourse–discourse and exchanges which I enjoy tremendously.

    PS: name calling is very cretin like and meant for the lesser minded brutes and plebeians whom I hope do not scurry around online creating mischief on different boards.

    It is a nice day here–great weather. Hope you have the same :)
    Cheers!

    LM

    http://theblindspotsofgod.wordpress.com/

  • lawyermommy says:

    Solana2012 says:
    September 14, 2009 at 8:37 am

    LOL @ lawyermommy!
    This is a blog. People here are “supposed” to say “how they feel” regarding factual issues. You stating “no one cares about my emotional twist” may be true, but, so what? You call Wilson a boor; sounds like an emotional twist on your part. I think, at this moment, he’s anything but – he’s all over the news for bashing your messiah. You, yourself, can’t stop talking about him. You are a hypocrite!
    As for all your definitions, analogies, blah blah blah; you’re now graping at straws. Even your own “definition” of scream is over your head. “To shout or speak shrilly”…look up “shrilly”. Wilson did not “shout shrilly” or “speak shrilly”. Now, you’re grasping so hard, you’re trying to compare Wilson with a cyber-criminal…LOL And with the angry foreigner who threw a shoe at Bush (again, assault, not words)…grasp away LOL
    I’m done with you. You’re a boor.
    lawyermommy says:
    September 14, 2009 at 10:40 am
    —————————————————
    Solana 2012;

    The points I made bear repeating because you have failed again, it appears, to grasp my statements.

    “To shout OR speak shrilly”.<< That is the definition of a scream. A SHOUT can also be described as a scream, the defining word in that description is the word OR. Thus Wilson screamed at our able President.

    I did not compare Wilson to a Cyber criminal.
    Again, as I indicated, "Eve Sharon Moore" of the website "BlackFemaleInterracialMarriage" blog and "BlackWomenblowthe trumpet" blog is a cybercrimal that has brutally criminalized me for a very long time. I compared the acts of other similar Predators and online Pedophiles to this woman.

    The parity I drew between this female Predator and Wilson was to explain the theory of "Reasonable Expectations" as related to conduct.

    Wilson's acts showed a lack of control just as the "nutty" Shoe thrower's conduct showed same.
    Wilson's conduct was boorish, and since it evinced a lack of control, I stated that it could be reasonably expected that if unchecked, could escalate. Again, my statement, as I explained to you, was based on the simple concept of Reasonable Expectations".

    Wilson is in the news,so? As I stated in my initial post to you. We live in a thriving democracy, dissent is a needed component of it, it is how we disagree that is the issue. Joe Wilson's conduct was grossly improper.

    Hmmmm…. You stated, "I’m done with you. You’re a boor"
    You make it sound like we were involved in more than an online discourse??

    Abuse and invective such as you have used to me is usually an index of the state of mind of the abusers not those against whom they attempt to spew venom. I will not call you a Crass Plebeian or describe you as disgustingly Coarse. However, your remarks appear to portray you as such. Not good.

    Have a nice week. :)

    LM

    http://theblindspotsofgod.wordpress.com/

    —————————————————
    Douglas says:
    September 14, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    Lawyermommy, you are being very, very selective in your definition. “Scream” is not synonymous with “shout”, you must add “shrilly” or “in a high pitch” to be honest.

  • Douglas says:

    Lawyermommy, I will repeat what I said. I dislike those who argue dishonestly. If you want to attempt to justify your dishonesty, I certainly will not stand in your way. If you have any self respect, you won’t continue.

  • USA CHAPINA says:

    OMW! I have to laugh when I read lawyermommy’s comments. And really that’s all I wanted to say. That and get over it.

  • Fred says:

    I wish all Conservatives … politicians, talk show hosts and all of us… would just forget about this whole Joe Wilson affair. Don’t you see what’s happening here? The Ls are using the Joe Wilson affair as a strategy to divert us from the other radical programs they are trying to force on us; and its working! Who cares if the Ls call ALL of us “racists”? Does it really matter? They’re diverting our attention and media time away from Obama Care, Cap and Tax, all the radicals that TAO has as his advisors etc. Joe Wilson accomplished his purpose: he forced the drive by, main stream and elite media to cover the matter and in the process, we all discovered that TAO was really lying (or he didn’t know what was in the Health Care Bill). There was no enforcement provision in the bill to prevent non-citizens from getting government health care. And, the Ds vetoed two attempts by the Ds to include it. Now, I understand that the Ds are amenable to including some way to police the administration of government health care, if it should pass, God help us! So, let’s be smart and drop the whole thing! :)

  • lawyermommy says:

    Douglas aka voice for the dumb :)

    “I’m done with you. You’re a boor”.<>>> “Honesty is freedom from deceit or fraud.” You are fraud in ignoring something as glaring as the abuse from Solana 2012 which I pasted above contained in her last comment to me–
    Your decision to redefine “scream” expose you as deceitful and lacking in any iota of credibility. You have none, not a modicum.

    Your comments are a weak and UNSUCCESSFUL attempt at defending the lack of understanding, lack of depth and crass comments by Solana 2012 whose ignorance is so glaring, it “screams” from her comments (pun intended) :)

    Also, your enjoinder about self respect which is fraudulent and lacking in credibility. It also seems asinine and irrational when taken in the context of the entire exchange between Solana 2012 and I. How foolish you sound,.

    Hey, here is some free legal advise; To portray yourself as objective, you must address the issues in its ENTIRETY. Your failure to do so renders your entire argument moot and sorely lacking in any persuasive strength.

    Your remarks “Douglas” are nonsense. Your obvious bias and partisan inability to objectively address the lack of knowledge and use of invective by Solana 2012 make your motives suspect and your remarks callow and irrelevant.

    “Douglas” — here is a something else, a life lesson which it sounds like you know nothing about:-]

    “There is no rest for liars and dishonest people like you no matter how they hide or pretend.” Time alone stands between the liar, thief and his inevitable horrible end.”

    Cheers and warm regards- :)

    LM

    http://theblindspotsofgod.wordpress.com/

  • Douglas says:

    Lawyermommy, like a real lawyer, you do your best to frame the arguments in your favor, selecting those things which you feel support your cause. The reality is somewhat different. I chose a specific example, documented it, and proved my point. All you can do now is embarrass yourself by trying to shift the subject.

    I don’t care about what Solana2012 has said or done. That has nothing to do with your integrity. Just as you think Joe Wilson should apologize for his misbehavior a second time, you refuse to acknowledge your own.

    I think you should take your admonishment to me more to your own heart. But I suspect you will not.

  • lawyermommy says:

    Douglas,

    Your insincerity seeps through your bogus rant. The totality of your comments show a biased and stilted review of discourse between Solana2012 and I.

    Your remarks are bogus and weightless because you lack any iota of credibility. You picked out one issue and ignored the festering one–invective and abuse spewed on me by Solana 2012.

    Your attempts at appearing honest are complete nonsense, really.

    LM

    http://theblindspotsofgod.wordpress.com/

  • Douglas says:

    Lawyermommy, I thank you for re-reinforcing my point and my condolences to your children.

  • Solana2012 says:

    There is another wonderful site to learn more truthful facts about current events:
    grandrants.wordpress.com
    Well, wonderful if you’re conservative.
    On that site we were recently posting comments regarding ObamaCare;
    one ranter, we discovered, was posting under two identities.
    He was touting his liberal views but, when questioned by the majority to support his statements, couldn’t cite sources other than the White House Website. ACORN, of course, is a given; “concerned citizens” creating fictitious characters to make it appear there are more actual tax-paying citizens supporting their “cause” is petty.
    I do find myself wondering here … with all the attorneys I know and socialize with, where oh where does someone in that demanding occupation find the time to post blogs throughout the working day? The ones I know are all in court or meetings…they also maintain self-control at all times, as they are trained to do for court, and would never allow themselves to “lose their cool” like, oh, gee, I don’t know, say, someone else we’ve gotten to know fairly well here over the past couple of days.
    Maybe there are ‘fictitious’ characters in other places as well.

  • Achealles says:

    @ Solana2012 -

    I would have to agree with you. It is amazing the security feel posting freely on a blog. People are not what they seem, nor do they act appropiately at times.

  • lawyermommy says:

    Solana 2012:

    Your asinine remarks and inability to grasp basic concepts make my responses to you appear more complex than the Healthcare bill to Palin.

    Your remarks about knowing lawyers and busy schedules of lawyers are quite absurd. And like your other wild emotive remarks are a further index of bare faced lack of understanding. In fact I am finding it difficult to determine what point you made in your rambling post.

    In addition your use of crass and abusive language in your last post of the “Joe Wilson discourse” showed you to be quite crude and perhaps unschooled in the bare ettiquette required for online conversation.

    I am here to post and have rich lively discourse and will continue to do so. :)

    LM

    http://theblindspotsofgod.wordpress.com/

  • Cristen Conger says:

    Alright folks, since the last string of comments have little to do with the actual content of the blog post, I’m putting the comments on temporary hiatus. If you guys want to continue to argue semantics, you’ll have to take the discussion elsewhere for now.

    The Joe Wilson example in the post was merely that – an example. How to Make an Effective Political Debate is another post for another time.

    Thanks for the lively discussion, people!

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