Perhaps to offset all that cruelty to animals found there, one human couple recently tasted the back of the hand of fate at the dog track. (Mike Hewitt/Getty Images)

If you love stories where people come up with totally sound plans but forget one important part that inevitably leads to their ironic declines, then you’re going to love this story of a British couple who have most likely converted to the sad religion of fatalism.

The Telegraph reports that the couple recently made their way up north to Sheffield to take advantage of a record £101,000 jackpot (that’s about $166 large in the States, as of today’s exchange rate). They had a foolproof plan; lay bets on every possible outcome for each of the six dogs in the six races. So for, say, greyhound number one (we’ll call him King Cob, after the single common ancestor of American racing greyhounds), the couple placed even bets on King Cob winning, placing, showing and so on. They also covered their bases by placing bets on combinations like the perfecta box — gambling on joint outcomes like King Cob winning and the dog racing in the third position, we’ll call him Commander Gent, finishing second.

Statistically speaking, the couple’s plan was foolproof. By placing a bet on every possible outcome, they were guaranteed to pick the winner in each of the six races. By picking all six correctly, they were thus entitled to the jackpot. They shelled out £46,656 initially, which would net them more than a cool £54,000. The problem wasn’t with the plan; it was a sound one. The problem was the plan worked just as well for two other punters (what they call gamblers over in the UK). The couple had failed to take into account that they weren’t the only ones to devise such an ingenious strategy.

Split three ways, each winner’s take came to £33,703.46, which amounted to a loss of £13,000 for the couple. Hence the waa-waa-waaaaa in the title of this post.

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