Photo Courtesy Warner Brothers

Are you an British citizen? Out of work? Do you look good in black? How are your spell-casting skills these days? If you answered “yes,” “yes,” “yes” and “fiendish, my pretty!” then a career as a witch might be right for you!

If you’re tired of your dead-end job pushing papers and toeing the company line, the Wookey Hole Caves in Somerset, England has the opportunity of a lifetime for the right candidate. Years ago, the Wookey Witch was turned to stone by the medieval Abbott of Glastonbury in order to rid the town of her curse. Legend has it that she still haunts the caves today, and since our previous witch retired to Penzance, we’re in need of a replacement.

• Applicant must perform a range of tasks and be adept at magic and cackling
• Applicant must be fine living in a well-appointed cave
• Applicant must have devilish element
• Applicant cannot be unduly frightening
• Applicant cannot have cat allergies

Sexual discrimination laws insist that all female, male and trans-gender witches must be considered. Pay up to $80k annually, full benefits and vacation.

If interested please contact the Wookey Caves management. Cheers.

Hocus Pocus:
How Witchcraft Works
How Cave Diving Works
How Cave Biology Works