This lamprey has a serious case of alien mouth. It reminds me of a sandworm. (©iStockphoto/pedre)

Last week I took a look at some sci-fi parasites and their real-life analogues. Today, it’s the other way around — real-life parasites that sound like something out of a movie. With this one, though, I just couldn’t keep it to five.

No. 10 — Ergot: If it wasn’t reputed to have played a role in the Salem witch trials, this parasitic grain fungus probably wouldn’t have made the list. But since its hallucinogenic properties may have led to panic and death, it sneaks in at No. 10.

No. 9 — Lampreys: Not all lampreys are parasitic, but the ones that are use their circular, jawless mouths to suck the blood of other water-dwellers, vampire-style. On top of that, they bear a distinct resemblance to long-extinct ostracoderms — or aliens.

No. 8 — Loa loa: Carried by the bite of an infected fly, the Loa loa worm migrates through the body, causing skin irritation and, in some cases, encephalitis. But the creepy part is when they start crawling around in people’s eyes.

No. 7 — Botflies: I talked about them a little last week — botfly larvae grow under their host’s skin before emerging to finish their development. A globetrotting friend once told me a story about a colleague who let botfly larvae keep on growing under his skin … on purpose.

No. 6 — Toxoplasma gondii: Infamously associated with cat poop, T. gondii seems to have a knack for mind control. Infected rats stop being scared of cat pee, and the parasite has also been linked to mental illness and behavior changes in humans.

No. 5 — Cymothoa exigua: This crustacean latches on to a fish’s tongue … and replaces it. From that point on, it looks like a tongue and acts like a tongue while getting its food from the host fish.

No. 4 — Hairworms: Toxoplasma isn’t the only mind-controlling parasite in the bunch. Hairworms don’t attack people, but they do commandeer the bodies of grasshoppers, forcing them to drown themselves so the hairworms can mate.

No. 3 — Candiru: This parasitic, Amazonian catfish can allegedly swim up a stream of urine into a man’s urethra and lodge itself there. How likely is this to happen? That’s a little hard to say, although The Straight Dope has explored the question. Twice.

No. 2 — Dicrocoelium dendriticum: D. dendriticum‘s life cycle starts and ends with livestock — but the middle part is the phase that’s worthy of sci-fi. Larvae take over an ant’s brain, forcing it to climb to the top of nearby vegetation … so livestock can eat it.

No. 1 — Guinea Worms: People pick up Guinea worm infestations from dirty water. The worms grow in the body and eventually make their way out through the skin. There’s no real treatment except to pull the worm out a little at a time, which can take months. Fortunately, one day this parasite might really be found only in fiction — thanks to the Carter Center and other organizations, infection rates have dropped dramatically.

There’s more parasite goodness in store on Monsters Inside Me, Wednesdays at 9:00 p.m. EDT/PDT on Animal Planet. And in these articles from HowStuffWorks.com:
Were the American colonists drugged during the Salem witchcraft trial?
How Vampires Work
How to Prevent Parasitic Infections