Production on the Port Side, a car for left-handers, is already underway. (AP Photo/Carlos Osorio)

Like many people, I consider myself a fan of The Simpsons. And if you’re a true fan of The Simpsons, then you’ll surely know what I’m talking about when I mention The Leftorium — a shop at the Springfield Mall owned by Ned Flanders. The Leftorium sold anything and everything for the left-handed individual: chain saws, hats, computers, guitars, ties, shot glasses … you name it and The Leftorium stocked it — even a car at one point.

Well, imagine my surprise when I found out that the left-handed car is now a reality. No, not the exact car from Ned’s Leftorium, but the all-new Port Side from SCB Motors, a car that’s custom tailored to meet the needs of a left-handed driver, and it’s scheduled to hit showroom floors as early as June 2009.

An SCB Motors executive (who asked to remain anonymous) from the company’s world headquarters in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, confirmed that the Port Side has been given the green light to go ahead with production. Did I say green light? It seems like a vehicle named the Port Side should be given the red light. You know, to stay true to the nautical theme. Anyway, this announcement comes after several left-handed test groups were given the opportunity to spend a little left-handed time behind the wheel where apparently the Port Side scored high marks.

“Just like every other auto manufacturer right now, we’re trying anything to boost our sales numbers,” our executive tipster from SCB told us. “We’ve known for some time that lefties simply aren’t buying our product. We have years of research data to prove it.” Now, if you’re anything like me, you’re asking yourself, why now? Why would a relatively new car company take a risk on something like a left-handed car at this rather critical point in time? “A risk? I don’t think so. It’s one of the few areas of the market that remain untapped by other automakers,” he said. “Left-handed people represent about 10 percent of the world’s population. How can we sell cars to lefties if we don’t make a car that’s comfortable for them to drive? I really don’t think we have a choice — we simply have to build the Port Side.”

But SCB Motors insiders aren’t the only ones anxiously awaiting the arrival of the automaker’s latest model. Arnie Dorich, a spokesperson for the Southpaw Rights Association of America (SRAA) and a lefty himself says he agrees with the decision to build this quirky vehicle. “It’s about time that we stop catering everything to the right-handed people of the world,” he said. “Why shouldn’t a left-handed person be just as comfortable behind the wheel of a car as a right-handed person? When it comes to automobiles, lefties have been factored out of the equation far too long. I applaud SCB Motors for having the guts to do something about it.”

Well said, Arnie … well said.

If you happen to be a southpaw who’s interested in purchasing a Port Side, the car for left-handed drivers, I wouldn’t bother looking for information about it anywhere else but here … it’s kind of a HowStuffWorks.com exclusive. And now that I’ve had my April Fool’s Day fun with you, why don’t you go to the HowStuffWorks.com homepage for a (much needed) dose of the truth.

However, if you’re looking for more April Foolishness, then you might want to look at these classic HowStuffWorks April Fool’s Day articles:
How the Air Force One Hybrid Works
How Cell-phone Implants Work
How Animated Tattoos Work
How Hydro-Ordnance Works

And if you’re in the mood for some more left-handed stuff:
Are lefties better at sports?
Are left-handers quicker thinkers than righties?
Lefty Grove
Lefty Gomez
Eppa Rixey